Tips for Writing an Irresistible Online Dating Profile

by Jason Tudor 

Writing about oneself in essay form is a somewhat formidable task, which poses many questions for most people wanting to post a dating profile online. What do I say? Where do I begin? Why are they making me do this? As with most aspects of online dating there are some basic and simple rules that are not necessarily obvious to the newcomer, who has just started finding her/his way through unfamiliar territory.

Although the requirements of dating sites vary as to length and content of your profile, its important to keep in mind that avoidance altogether is a sure way to fail at online dating. Regardless of the length of your personal ad, be advised that taking the time to compose something worthwhile will naturally attract more appropriate and compatible matches.

  1. Write just a short introduction

    This is one way of overcoming writer’s block and is perfectly allowable in most online dating services. Its important to deliver a few good and inviting lines with a clear notification to the readers that it is a “work-in-progress”. Even if you receive a healthy number of responses, don’t be tempted to leave your ad unfinished.

    Remember, Mr. or Ms. Right will not necessarily respond to photos alone, but might want more in depth information before making initial contact or responding to yours. Also, once you’ve completed your essay consider updating it regularly to reflect your new experiences and insights.

  2. Search and Save Prospect’s Profiles

    Don’t waste time checking out the competition. Instead look through your prospect’s profiles and gather useful information on how to write generally.

    You will develop a sound sense of the site’s use of explicit language, acceptable length, style, etc. More importantly, however, you’ll discover those characteristics your most desired prospects are looking for in a potential date or mate. And please don’t forget to save those profiles you find most interesting for later contact.

  3. Tailoring Your Profile and Language

    It is commonly agreed that, honesty is the best policy! Having said that; it is also important to “target your market”. Know which species of bee you wish to attract and exactly what field you are planting in! In other words don’t talk “leather and whips” when your looking for true romance at “Buddhist Buddies Online”.

  4. Embrace Honesty and Avoid Deception

    Keep in mind that online dating exposes you to that vast cyberspace known as the Internet Highway, a place where speed demons drive along side wonderful folks like yourself. Most people are very aware of this and are judicious enough to maintain a healthy level of suspicion. Although total frauds are rare, you don’t want be caught in the position of having to explain even an innocent white lie or contradiction. In which case, you’ll most likely win a one-way ticket to “Dump City”.

  5. Freely Express Your Interests and Values

    When discussing those aspects of life, which turn you on, whether it’s a value, like having a family, or an interest, like skydiving, don’t be afraid to include the whys and wherefores. Use descriptive and emotive language, for example, “that first jump filled me with a profound sense of freedom.” Firstly, you will be allowing a prospect, doing a search of “skydiving”, to locate you. Secondly, you may be giving the prospect a powerful subliminal message that you don’t want to be “possessed”.

  6. Talk About Yourself Positively in Subtle Ways

    Too often, personal essays or profiles become nothing but tedious lists of “I” or “Me” statements. Instead, find ways to inject information about your achievements, desires, and future goals, casually, through short anecdotes, reflections, and humor. It helps to keep your “ideal match” in mind and write to him/her as if in direct conversation. Adding an audio file, whenever possible, is especially important because all the information your prospect has received so far has been visual. A short audio file can enhance, authenticate, and supplement your well-executed and masterfully written essay.

  7. A Few Things to Avoid with a Vengeance

    Some individuals are uneasy with writing about themselves and thus feel the need to apologize to the reader. Don’t be one of them! In fact don’t apologize for anything whatsoever. Remember, “you are a child of the universe and you have a right to be here” Just try not to tell your entire life story.

Your profile should be a symphony of positive notes and tones; not a list of what you don’t want or of childish demands such as, “he must be financially independent”. And try not to expound lengthy ideas or personal beliefs. Remember your audience will probably have a short attention span.

On the other hand, don’t reduce yourself to a shopping list of adjectives: “I’m tall, cute, temperamental, sassy, intelligent, etc.” Don’t write, “I’m an easy-going guy.” Instead write with an “easy-going” style and you’ll convey the same message with greater credibility. Avoid discussing past relationships and the need to “tell it all”. Finally, don’t forget an appetizer "IS JUST THAT", and leave most of yourself and other goodies for the tantalizing main course and sumptuous dessert.

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