Dating FAQ's

Online Dating FAQ's

More online dating questions....

QIf I’m not happy with the service how do I cancel my membership?

A If you go to the “your profile” area on most sites, it will have a link to “cancel membership” or “modify your settings” or something like that. It won’t be that hard to find, but even if it is, simply go to the site’s “help” section which should provide an email. Most dating sites will enable you to cancel by email, some may require a phone call.

Either way, and especially if you are paying for a membership by credit card, check to see if you really have been removed from the site. Check for your username using the site’s search engine. Check your credit card bills to make sure you are still not being charged (it’s not common for companies to continue charging, but accidents can happen so be vigilant just in case).

QWill more people respond to my profile if I include a video greeting?

A Video greetings are fairly new to online dating, but are becoming more and more popular as more people get high-speed connections and “web-cams”. What do you think, would you be more inclined to talk to someone you’ve seen on a video or just in a picture? Video shows a lot of information: facial expression, quality of voice, personality.

But make sure to record your video greeting a few times, and choose the best one. Too many of them simply have the person simply checking themselves out on the screen and not paying enough attention to the camera. Sell yourself. It’s an ad, for you.

Q What should I do if no one is responding to my profile?

A Modify it, quick. Most sites keep track of not only when members actively check out the site, but also of when a particular profile is modified. On some sites you’ll notice that, while you’re searching, it might say “profile modified October 15, 2007”. You’re more apt to check out a profile that feels new, aren’t you?

But don’t just change your profile for the sake of change. Read it out loud, look for potential areas where you could maybe improve it. In particular, look at the “essay” sections… are you looking for someone too specific? Do you sound needy, or arrogant, or downright annoying? Fix that. If you can, get someone you trust to check it out and make suggestions.

QDo you have any suggestion on how to start up a conversation with someone using instant messaging?

A It’s much the same as using email to contact someone when you’ve seen their profile. Do not to use some cheesy one-liner – no matter how charming you are in person, a dumb line is going to look flat on the computer screen. If you can, just say hi, and when they say hi back, follow through with a question that came to your mind when you were reading their profile. It might have to do with where they live, a hobby they like, a favourite film or sports team, their kids, whatever. Show genuine interest, and the other person will feel more personally involved and not just some horny doofus/doofette.

QIs there any way to tell if someone is being dishonest?

A Not really, but if you have suspicions that someone isn’t telling you the truth, don’t talk to them. It helps to have a second opinion from someone else who might have more of an objective attitude than you.

As usual, if something sounds too perfect, it’s usually too good to be true. Usually. If someone comes along and claims to have the looks of Brad Pitt, the funny bone of Jim Carrey and the charm of George Clooney, alarm bells should go off.

Try and ask that person questions, in real time (i.e. instant messaging or on the phone) that might trip them up… stories, and the like.

QHow can I reject someone without hurting their feelings?

A This is a tough one, but trust in the fact that it is better to tell the truth than drag someone along just because you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. Treat this situation exactly as you would if it happened in the real world, although here you have the advantage of not having to see that person in the office tomorrow. Tell them that they’re just not what you’re looking for at the current time.

QHow long should I talk to someone before meeting in person?

A This is entirely a judgment call on your part. If you feel comfortable that you have a fairly good idea of what said person is like, go for it. Try, if you can, to talk to them over some kind of instant messenger service… this is SO much better than just email. And it is essential to talk to them over the phone before any meeting in person.

This process could be a matter of hours, days or weeks. If you’re talking about a long distance deal, obviously you’re looking at a longer period of time… you don’t want to waste time and money on someone whom isn’t even in the right ballpark. There’s no rush!

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